I dont hate her. how could i hate my own umi? but then when things get hot, i feel so depressed that she doesnt understand me. I do hate feel like that, i mean u get angry or even saying bad words towards ur mom;inside ur heart not bursting it out, but again, i sincerely hope she will understand me. When old times, we fight a lots. We barely not speak to each other almost a week. see. i am bad daughter. really bad. Actually not only when i was little we fight, we still do now but maybe just a few a month.huhu. I know i need to change. I am. I think. Sometimes, i just cant. Im not saying harsh words to her , im just crying so loud-- to tell her i protest. When we fight, we become so dingin and i deeply hate that. I get it, parents make mistakes sometimes, but we cant just tell them they are wrong since it seems inappropriate to do so or u cant tell them without making them terasa. So, the best way is i need , dont talk harsh, obey them all the times, be patient with them since they extremely be patient with us when we were little, make them happy, and praying, of course. I sincerely feel regret for being like that. I do. I feel ashamed of it. I am. T_____T.
Why i disobey her when she just asking me to help her to do the chores? Why i become so rude to her when she mad at me? Why i even protesting when things dont turn out like i want? Why i mad at her when she keeps changing her words? Why i always feel she dont love me as much as she loves others? Why i keep feeling unsatisfied??? Why i dont feel thankful??? Why i behave like Tanggang??? They always be there for me when i need them. Thats for sure and me? with my selfishness, rudeness, immature behaviors, i i forget that! How can i be such derhaka??? Hinanya aku , ya Allah. T_____T
She makes mistakes, she doesnt understand me but she loves me, she always there for me. I always complain inside she doesnt understand me but then again do i understand her? Did i even thank her for everything she has done? Did i? I dont want give her another headaches, i dont want make her feel unhappy, i dont want hurt her anymore with my childish-setan perangai. Enough with all those years she had to endure me when i was little. Enough. I think its my turn to give it back to her. I should have done this ages ago..sedihhhhhhh T_______T
Doa untuk ibu bapa ( Ustazah Azimah)
Bismillahirahmanirahhim..
Segala puji bagi Allah, yg telah memerintahkan kami agar berterima kasih kepada kedua ibubapa kami dan berbuat baik kepada mereka. Menggesa kami supaya merebut peluang berbakti kepada mereka, bersungguh-sungguh melakukan kebajikan kepada mereka. Merendahkan diri menghormati mereka. Mewasiatkan kami supaya mengasihani ,mereka sebagaimana mereka memelihara dan mendidik kami semasa kecil.
Ya Allah! Rahmatilah kedua ibubapa kami (3kali ulang), dan ampunilah dosa mereka, Redhailah mereka dengan keredhaan yg melayakkan mereka mendapat segala keredhaanMu. Dengan Engkau meletakkan mereka di dalam Negara kemuliaanMu, keamananMu, kemaafanMu dan keampunanMu.
Ya Allah ampunilah mereka dengan sesempurna keampunan yang dengannya Engkau hapuskan dosa-dosa mereka yg terdahulu dan kejahatan yg mereka lakukan secara berterusan. Rahmatilah mereka dengan rahmatMu yg dengannya Engkau menyinari tempat pembaringan mereka di dalam kubur. Engkau amankan mereka pada hari Kiamat ketika mereka dibangkitkan dari kubur mereka.
Ya Allah!, kasihanilah di atas kelemahan mereka sebagaimana mereka telah mengasihi kami ketika kami lemah, rahmatilah mereka ketika mereka terlalai daripada mengingatiMu, sebagaimana mereka tetap mengasihi kami semasa kami masih kecil.
Ya Allah!, peliharalah bagi mereka kasih sayang yg telah Engkau curahkan di dalam hati mereka, belas kasihan yg telah Engkau penuhi hati mereka, dan kelembutan yg telah Engkau sibukkan ke atas anggota mereka.
Ya Allah! Jadikanlah kami penyejuk mata hati mereka pada hari kiamat, perdengarkanlah kepada mereka sebaik-baik seruan daripada kami pada hari Kiamat, Jadikanlah mereka disebabkan kami dari kalangan ibubapa yg dicemburui disebabkan anak-anak mereka yg soleh, sehingga Engkau mengumpulkan kami dan mereka serta sekalian muslimin di Negara kemuliaanMu (syurga) di tempat penetapan rahmatMu dan tempat auliya kekasihMu bersama orang-orang yg telah Engkau kurniakan Nikmat.
akhiri dengan selawat ke atas Nabi saw dan Alhamdulillahi rabbail ‘alamin.
Semoga aku sentiasa menjadi anak yang solehah...Amin~
Waaaaaaaaa..sedihhhh!!!!
T_______T
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